Saturday, June 11, 2011

GBGC Original: Whine whine bicker bitch moan complain

I heard once that if you say what you really mean when you get hurt (like screaming profanities when you accidentally hammer your thumb), that you actually heal quicker. In fact, people who cried "#$@%!!!" felt better even faster than those who merely said "gosh darn it" (because you know "gosh darn it" is not what you really mean).

Of course, its not always a good idea to use this method if it's your boss or a good friend who has done you harm. Bite your tongue and say it in a song -- that will surely help you turn your frown upside down!

This little ditty commemorates the start of a week in which I will be the featured comedy artist on YouTube's Social Media Talent Network. No big deal just yet, but I'm glad at least somebody is randomly noticing me! Thanks for watching, listening, reading and maybe even following and/or subscribing!!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

GBGC Original: Eddie Vedder Smiled At Me (It's Not A Ukulele)

Let's get three things straight: a ukulele has four strings, a guitar has six strings, and Eddie Vedder is a beautiful man. I'm not just talking about wavy brown hair, blue eyes and interesting thumb-bone structure; I am also talking about vocal quality, musicianship, creativity, integrity, choice of home (Seattle), and -- oh let's face it, I'm still thinking about the wavy brown hair.

But seriously, folks. Listen to any live recordings of Pearl Jam, and you'll hear a baritonal quality unprecedented in the rock music world, diction similar to that of Dame Joan Sutherland, and compositional structure which rivals any classical composer. Listen to Vedder's new album "Ukulele Songs" and you'll know he's not in it for fame nor fortune. He is an artist and colleague, true to his quirky but beloved instrument, forging new paths for generations to come.

Just like Bridget Fonda's character in the grunge-era film "Singles" (the film that inspired my "I'm Big in Europe" T-shirt and was filmed around the corner from my last abode on Capitol Hill), I moved to Seattle from Arizona at the age of 23. I suppose I knew I was entering Grunge Central Station, but, like my relation to most things in life, I maintained a certain peripherality. Nevertheless, it was almost impossible to remain untouched by the influence of that movement. One such story is told in this, the latest episode of Grahamophone's Bad Guitar Channel. And the next chapter is in the works.

Stay tuned to the Grahamophone!!

(I seemed to recognize your face)
It was a sunny day in Seattle
(that makes this story hard to believe)
but you wouldn’t doubt me at all
if you’d seen what I’d seen.
He pulled up in his truck.
You won’t believe my luck.
(I seemed to recognize your face)
So I thought I’d dilly-dally,
soak up the last few rays.
It was just he and I in the alley
just off of Denny Way.
I was standing at the top of the stairs.
I saw a guitar and curly hair.

(I seemed to recognize your face)
Seattle Opera was rehearsing Turandot (Turandot! Turandot!);
it was time for me to go in.
Some band across the street was jammin’, and as you turned to go
you flashed me a sunny grin.
That smile, and those blue eyes.
I was stunned, I was paralyzed.
I thought, hey that guy really looks like Eddie Vedder.
Oh my God that IS Eddie Vedder!!
(I definitely recognized your face)
That’s the story of when Eddie Vedder smiled at me.