It's Not a Matter of Opinion

Even before a majority of voters in the state of North Carolina approved an amendment to ban gay marriage, even before Arizona’s governor Jan Brewer signed a bill which determines to save the lives of unborn children even before they have been conceived, I got involved in conversations concerning these same controversial topics. And these discussions were with people whom I consider to be dear friends. 

Once we got over the shock of our differences in opinions, we were able to meet on common ground about some things. But still other things are open to debate. I hold fast to the notion (notice I didn’t say “I believe”) that there are certain things which cannot be argued. Much like the fact that two plus two is four, there are certain truths which I hold to be self-evident (thank you, Thomas Jefferson).

Therefore it baffles me that certain civil, yea verily, human rights can be put up to a vote. Isn’t it obvious that people should be allowed to live and let love? Apparently, it’s not. 

I’d like to thank my friends who were willing to enter these discourses with me - I’ve considered your viewpoints as well, never ye fear. And, wouldn’t you know, I’ve found that the biggest problem is being uncomfortable with the unknown. The more you know, the less you fear. 

Still, in the end, someone has to budge. I just hope and pray that you budge in my direction.

Peace, out. 

Good Enough (shoulda, coulda, woulda)

This song is about several things, really, so don't try to discern any particular incident. It's about making mistakes that no one notices, but still yearning to do better. It's about surrounding yourself with people who understand that, and saying goodbye to those who don't, without regret. 

It's about achieving that perfect balance of being in the right place in the right time, and being in the company of those who make your world magical, and not just mediocre. Nobody is perfect, but my theory is, when you get to where you are meant to be, it will be good enough. 

Any questions? Lyrics below (property of The Grahamophone)

For you it’s good enough, for them it’s good enough

but for me ..... it’s not good enough

I don’t care if no one knows, how it really goes,

can’t you see.... i know it’s not good enough

because i know i...

Shoulda done, Coulda done, Woulda done more.

Shoulda done, Coulda done, Woulda done more.

They say I’m a big star, I’ll surely go far.

So when do we leave? .... Am I not good enough?

It’s not me, it’s you. So I know what I gotta do

I can’t stay here ... you’re not good enough.

because you didn’t think I...

Shoulda done, Coulda done, Woulda done more.

Shoulda done, Coulda done, Woulda done more.

I know to be great I have to pull my own weight,

Struggle and race against the tide.

don’t wanna swim in a sea of mediocrity, 

where dilettantes will always be satisfied.

I know it’s ridiculous to be so meticulous

but that’s the only way ... it’ll be good enough

So let go of my hand, until you understand

to come with me ... you gotta be good enough.

because i never wanna say i ....

Shoulda done, Coulda done, Woulda done more.

Shoulda done, Coulda done, Woulda done more.

I wanna take my peanut butter to meet the chocolate
and shake my coconut with the lime. (doctor!)
I’ll never give up and i don’t know what to say here,
but I know in my perfect world it will rhyme...

Keep your eyes on the prize until you realize that

where you’re meant be .... it’ll be good enough.

Peace Out: a Retrospective of 2011

Sorry if I ruined your holiday mood with this rather blunt and harrowing retrospective of the year of our Lord 2011, but these are the facts, ma’am, just the facts. Regardless of religion, the preferred methods of violence this year seem to be rioting, shooting people in the head and, coming in third, pepper-spraying.

And regardless of religion, people just don’t seem to learn. There’s nothing we can do about the hurricanes, tornadoes and earthquakes (well, except blame them on the gays), but it seems there’s a lot we can still do about the other stuff. Let’s begin by trying with all our might to stop shooting people in the head.

In my own weird way, I consider myself somewhat of a journalist, which is why I aim to give you the facts in a concise, accurate, timely fashion. Ergo I must publish this without a diatribe, as it is meant to be my official GBGC X-MAS video!

Peace, out. See you in 2012!!

GBGC Original - If I Had A Boyfriend (track #71)

For those of you who have been following me, you know that the vast majority of my technological equipment was stolen a couple months ago (see previous video).

This put a pretty big fork in operations here at Grahamophone’s Bad Guitar Channel, so I apologize for the delay in getting the next video out. At last I have replenished all my equipment - in fact the quality of the microphone and camera in the new MacBook Pro is pretty good, almost TOO good - and the creative juices are flowing again. But never ye fear - the GBGC videos and songs will never lose their homespun touch, and the bad guitar will never, ever be in tune (see Track #7 “Totally Flawsome”).

This little ditty has been going around in my head for the past several weeks, after having survived the shock of the robbery and getting back into my old routines. I realized that, although I was afforded an opportunity for a fresh start (which I have partially taken advantage of), and although I would like to have someone to share this fresh start with, I am pretty darn happy sitting home alone, farting or whatever, whenever the spirit moves me. So to speak.

Here I Am at the Apple Store - a letter to Steve Jobs from GBGC

 Just ten days before my birthday, all my cherished Mac equipment was stolen. The following song (lyrics below) says it all:

p.s. Please be patient while GBGC Studios gets back on its feet again!

Addendum:  Just hours after posting this video, I learned that Steve Jobs resigned from his position as CEO of Apple.  GBGC wishes Mr. Jobs all the best, and hopes that, in his new position as chairman, he will continue to be a creative inspiration in the world of computers. Mac macht's möglich!



Dear Mr. Jobs,

You don't know me, I sing opera professionally. In fact, I'm on the verge of a breakthrough. I took my laptop wherever I went; working on my website was time well spent. And this is the matter that concerns you.

You see, the other day when I was at work, I fell victim to a thieving jerk who snuck in through the back door at the cafe. He emptied our bags of all they were worth, then disappeared off the face of the Earth. No one's ever treated me that way.

So here I am at the Apple Store. I don't have a MacBook no more. They took it from me while I wasn't looking, out from the kitchen where nothing was cooking. Ain't nobody ever done me so wrong, and so I wrote you this little song. Dear Mr. Jobs, won't you please send a new MacBook to me.

As if that wasn't bad enough, they also took some other stuff, like an iPod Touch with fancy In-Ear Headphones. Yes, an iPod Touch with 8 gigabytes and cool apps like Skype and Flashlight, so I could always find my way home.

So here I am in the Apple Store. I don't have my iPod no more. He took it out of my purse and left me my keys. You can have my house, just give me my iPod back, please, so I can play Scrabble while I'm on the road and listen to my favorite NPR shows. This American Life is hard to believe. Give me an iPod, Steve.

I bet you didn't expect to hear a third verse. My sob story just keeps getting worse. The MacBook and the iPod weren't the only things stolen. That bastard took my external hard drive and now I want him - dead or alive - to "back up" into my hand until his ass is swollen.

So here I am in the Apple Store. Heck, I don't even have an external hard drive no more. I wish I could climb into that Time Machine and catch that guy who swiped me clean of Breaking Bad, Mad Men and Weeds, and yes, even a season of Glee, not to mention my work: my writing, my singing, my whole life's oeuvre.

I got a bit frustrated, I'll admit, when iMovie would always unexpectedly quit, and I couldn't open certain types of files. But I've always been an Apple girl - the thought of a PC just makes me want to hurl. But dreaming of my MacBook makes me smile.

So here I am at the Apple Store. I know you can't give me my pictures no more, nor letters from my family, recordings of my voice. But what can I do? I have no choice. Dear Mr. Jobs, you know how I feel. My love for Apple is something very real. A MacBook, a hard drive, an iPod Touch is all that I want - am I asking too much? I just don't have two thousand bucks. I got talent and a dream, but otherwise my life pretty much sucks. So dear Mr. Jobs, I'm down on my knees, send me a new MacBook, please.

Yours truly,
gbgc

GBGC Original: The Queen of the Night

As many of you may know, I am a professional opera singer.

Yes, it's true.

My most recent role is Mozart's famous Queen of the Night. On the one hand, this role is a coloratura's dream. She sings two of the most challenging arias written for our Fach, and the character is very complex. The challenge lies in the fact that she has but three short entrances in which she must prove all of her pudding.  The sprint to the runner's marathon, so to speak.

If a singer is lucky enough to be able to sing the Queen, she is often cast in this role more than any other -- this can be a curse as well as a blessing. Although we are thankful for having work, we crave a bit more more variety. The struggles that the Queen herself endures become apparent in the offstage persona. A blurry line between good and evil, love and hate. 

GBGC Original: Whine whine bicker bitch moan complain

I heard once that if you say what you really mean when you get hurt (like screaming profanities when you accidentally hammer your thumb), that you actually heal quicker. In fact, people who cried "#$@%!!!" felt better even faster than those who merely said "gosh darn it" (because you know "gosh darn it" is not what you really mean).

Of course, its not always a good idea to use this method if it's your boss or a good friend who has done you harm. Bite your tongue and say it in a song -- that will surely help you turn your frown upside down!

This little ditty commemorates the start of a week in which I will be the featured comedy artist on YouTube's Social Media Talent Network. No big deal just yet, but I'm glad at least somebody is randomly noticing me! Thanks for watching, listening, reading and maybe even following and/or subscribing!!