GBGC Original: Eddie Vedder Smiled At Me (It's Not A Ukulele)

Let's get three things straight: a ukulele has four strings, a guitar has six strings, and Eddie Vedder is a beautiful man. I'm not just talking about wavy brown hair, blue eyes and interesting thumb-bone structure; I am also talking about vocal quality, musicianship, creativity, integrity, choice of home (Seattle), and -- oh let's face it, I'm still thinking about the wavy brown hair.

But seriously, folks. Listen to any live recordings of Pearl Jam, and you'll hear a baritonal quality unprecedented in the rock music world, diction similar to that of Dame Joan Sutherland, and compositional structure which rivals any classical composer. Listen to Vedder's new album "Ukulele Songs" and you'll know he's not in it for fame nor fortune. He is an artist and colleague, true to his quirky but beloved instrument, forging new paths for generations to come.

Just like Bridget Fonda's character in the grunge-era film "Singles" (the film that inspired my "I'm Big in Europe" T-shirt and was filmed around the corner from my last abode on Capitol Hill), I moved to Seattle from Arizona at the age of 23. I suppose I knew I was entering Grunge Central Station, but, like my relation to most things in life, I maintained a certain peripherality. Nevertheless, it was almost impossible to remain untouched by the influence of that movement. One such story is told in this, the latest episode of Grahamophone's Bad Guitar Channel. And the next chapter is in the works.

Stay tuned to the Grahamophone!!

(I seemed to recognize your face)

It was a sunny day in Seattle

(that makes this story hard to believe)

but you wouldn’t doubt me at all

if you’d seen what I’d seen.

He pulled up in his truck.

You won’t believe my luck.

(I seemed to recognize your face)

So I thought I’d dilly-dally,

soak up the last few rays.

It was just he and I in the alley

just off of Denny Way.

I was standing at the top of the stairs.

I saw a guitar and curly hair.

(I seemed to recognize your face)

Seattle Opera was rehearsing Turandot (Turandot! Turandot!);

it was time for me to go in.

Some band across the street was jammin’, and as you turned to go

you flashed me a sunny grin.

That smile, and those blue eyes.

I was stunned, I was paralyzed.

I thought, hey that guy really looks like Eddie Vedder.

Oh my God that IS Eddie Vedder!!

(I definitely recognized your face)

That’s the story of when Eddie Vedder smiled at me.

GBGC #66: Anniversary Edition - Don't Stop (Fighting Terrorism)

In 1994, David Hasselhoff’s big pay-per-view comeback concert was scheduled to be televised on the very same night that O.J. Simpson happened to be fleeing police in a white Bronco. All eyes were on O.J. and Hasselhoff’s comeback was thwarted. 

On this day, the first anniversary on Grahamophone’s Bad Guitar Channel, the world awoke to the news that Osama bin Laden had been found and killed in Abbottabad, Pakistan. 

I suppose people will be glued to the television news instead of perusing the archives of the GBGC, and the number of views on YouTube will be significantly lower than I projected. But I will persevere. Unlike Hasselhoff, I will try to refrain from sinking into a drunken stupor (if I do, I will of course videotape it, and then maybe one of my videos will finally go viral).

I will not be beaten by terrorists! 

After all, according to the Guinness Book of World Records, Baywatch is the world’s most-watched television program. As a result, Hasselhoff’s fortune allegedly amounts to 100 million dollars.

The world’s most loathed enemy may have usurped my ratings today, but I won’t stop thinking about tomorrow. Yesterday’s gone. Yesterday’s gone.


(and for my serious take on today's news, here's my other blog, Christine In Between )

GBGC Original: Yadda Yadda Yadda Yadda (Tell Me Something I Don't Know)

Those of you who read my other blog will know that I've recently accepted the fact that I'm not perfect. This imperfection comes complete with a healthy dose of impatience. I've been waiting for quite some time for quite a few dreams to come true. And quite honestly, I'm getting quite sick of disappointment. 

Quite.

The nice thing about this little phase I'm going through is the realization that I am absolutely unwilling to change to appease others. Take it or leave it, I'm practically perfect in every way. But my guitar, proverbial and otherwise, is out of tune, and that's the way it will stay. Personally, however, I will try to work on the patience bit. Que será, será...

GBGC #64: Verdi Cries (a shout out to fellow singers everywhere)

As much as I love the dulcet tones of the bad guitar and all of the songs I play on it, one genre has sorely been missing in my videos. Opera. Yes, that's right, I am a professional opera singer and no, I'm not ever going to sing an opera aria on the GBGC. But if you listen closely, you will hear a few well-supported tones in this rendition of one of my favorite 10,000 Maniac tunes.  This is a little tribute to my colleagues past and present who are singing their hearts out somewhere in the opera world, and to the man who contributed so much to it: Giuseppe Verdi.

(you can sign up to follow this blog on Blogger, on Facebook, or subscribe to grahamophone on YouTube -- or to follow my operatic videos, check out sopranograham)

GBGC #63: Happy Xmas (War is Over) - Tribute to John Lennon

John Lennon once sang, "Nobody told me there'd be days like these." I'll bet no one told him that on his way home one chilly December night he'd be shot dead, that's for sure. Despite terror warnings here in good ol' Germany, people are still flocking en masse to the Christmas Markets - a perfect target for any evil-doers. Why not? No sense living in fear of the threats that are known to us, when some random crazy dude could show up on your doorstep and blow your head off. So yeah, I'm pretty pissed off that Mark Chapman took John Lennon away from us 30 years ago today. What irks me even more is that he did it on my friend Steve's birthday. Rude.

GBGC Halloween Quickie - I'm Going Home (Rocky Horror Picture Show)

Elvis didn't recognize me at first

Today is Halloween. Last night in Frankfurt there was a huge party, mostly attended by the ex-pat community. Ze Germans do Halloween all wrong anyway (forgive them, they know not what they do). Most believe that you are supposed to dress up like something "gruselig" (creepy, scary, gross, blood-curdling), but in fact, we all know you can be whoever you want on Halloween. Several Germans at the party last night chose to just be themselves. Where's the fun in that?

Some of my costumes in the past have included a milk-maid (whatever, I was a weird kid), a cat (oh, how original), a geisha, Paloma Picasso (I was going for Natasha from Rocky and Bullwinkle, but that's how it turned out...), Agent 99 from "Get Smart", a victim of domestic violence at a cocktail party, and Pris from "Blade Runner."

This year I was inspired by a recent visit home to Tucson, where I was reminded of the Dia de los Muertos - a huge tradition in the Mexican culture, which is of course prominent in southern Arizona. So I did my best to look like a skeleton, wore my new "All Souls Procession" T-Shirt, and went on my merry way.

I was delighted to discover that nobody could recognize me. Even a good friend walked right past me without suspecting it was me. Her boyfriend and I both had the number 13 on our shirts, and I pointed that out to him without speaking -- he later confessed that he thought I was just some random woman trying to flirt with him. Sorry to disappoint him, I eventually confessed my true identity - but only to a select few.

This is a good way to go through life, I think -- not to show your true self until you've tested the waters for just a bit.

GBGC Quickie - Love Will Tear Us Apart Again (Joy Division)

This has always been one of my favorite songs. I can nowhere near begin to emulate its greatness - the intro of the original just gets my heart pounding like nobody's business. Well, this version is probably not going to have that same effect on you - unless you're into out-of-tune guitars and hot rollers.

But speaking of fetishists... "routine bites hard". Even the most die-hard of stalkers give up the chase after a while. It seems this phenomenon has effected Grahamophone's Bad Guitar Channel. After gaining so many new subscribers on YouTube this week, and even a new blog follower who is a perfect stranger to me, someone who I thought to be my biggest fan cancelled his subscription. Well, if as in this case I can gain 14 subscribers for every one I lose, I'm in pretty good shape. You win some, you lose some, but I am not tearing myself apart over this one.

"Yet there's still this appeal that we've kept through our lives."

So - here I am with my hair up in curlers in preparation for a benefit concert in the Naxos Halle in Frankfurt. The Bad Guitar stayed at home....